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Coconuts

Ingredients

Preparation

  1. Can’t open

    Step 1

    Method 1: Pierce the softest of the three or more “eyes” with an ice pick or skewer, drain out the water, and crack the shell with a hammer. If you can’t get an ice pick through the eye, use a drill bit in an electric screwdriver (not an electric drill; it’ll go too fast and grab the coconut, which makes a dangerous projectile). Method 2: Bake the coconut for 20 minutes at 300°F. By the end of this time, it will have cracked itself open, or just a light tap on the noggin (of the coconut) will do the job.

  2. Dried up

    Step 2

    Put the coconut meat in a bowl, cover it with cow’s milk, and refrigerate for 1 hour. Press the meat dry in a strainer. (The milk can then be used for drinking or cooking.) A small amount of warm water can also soften your coconut, but it won’t be as tasty as the milk when you’re done.

    Step 3

    If you have time, put the coconut in an airtight container in the refrigerator with a slice of fresh bread for 3 days, at the end of which time you will have fresh coconut and stale bread.

  3. Stale shredded coconut

    Step 4

    Method 1: Soak it in cow’s milk plus a dash of sugar for 3 minutes. Method 2: Hold it in a sieve over boiling water until it is as moist as you would like.

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